It’s been over a year since I’ve posted a blog (actually it’s been 506 days to be exact, but who’s counting?). The last time you heard from me I was starting an amazing new job and then BOOM, I ghosted you. It’s taken me nearly a year and a half to admit to myself and now to you, that I’ve been hiding.
But I haven’t just been hiding from you. I’ve been hiding in my life, career, and relationships too. When I read this quote from Brene Brown a few weeks ago it rocked me to my core:
“All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins… It’s time to show up and be seen.”
What stood out most was:
“Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts.”
For years my armor has been perfectionism, over achievement and trying to control every aspect of my life and it was burning me OUT.
It’s no coincidence that the title of the Brene Brown post was called “The Midlife Unraveling” because that’s exactly what I’d been experiencing in my own life. It’s been one of the most uncomfortable yet cathartic processes of my entire life. It began about 6 months ago when I ended relationships, unfriended folks and disconnected from social media, stopped drinking, stopped dating and got off of every dating app. I sat in solitude. A LOT.
I gave myself permission to actually feel my feelings of overwhelm, guilt, and shame. I let go of everything that no longer served me so I could actually get clear about who I really am, what lights me up, and most importantly, how I want to share my gifts with the world. And who I’d stop pretending to be.
Now that the election is finally over, there are so many projects that I’m excited about putting into the world. What I’ve learned from my “unraveling” is that it’s time to show up differently and I’m now challenging myself to do that in every area of my life. While there is sooooo much more for me to get clarity about, one thing I know for sure is that I want to help other women, especially women of color, show up in their lives and careers differently too.
After taking the past few weeks off to rest, crochet (my absolute favorite new hobby by the way!), and eat real food, I’m excited to lean into what I’ve been doing unofficially for years – providing clarity and career coaching for bold women – in an official capacity.
I’d looooove to work with you if you’re:
– Also a recovering perfectionist, overachiever and/or control freak
– Ready to let go of controlling every aspect of the world around you and instead are willing to surrender to the plan that the universe has for you (which is waaaay better than what you could ever dream up for yourself)
– Ready to be seen, like ACTUALLY seen, imperfections and all in your life, career, relationships and even friendships
– Done checking off boxes and following all the “rules” (i.e. go to school and get a good job but yet you’re MISERABLE) and are ready to step into a new plan for your life + career
On our journey together you’ll discover:
– What TRULY lights you up, brings you joy and how to do the work you love every single day (and ACTUALLY get paid for it)
– How to break destructive patterns and limiting beliefs that are keeping you safe, stuck and broke
– How to show up in your life and career as not just your best self, but as your authentic self, so you can attract everything that is waiting for you
If you (or someone you know) would be interested in working with me can you leave a comment and let me know: what’s your armor? What could be keeping you from growing into your gifts in 2019?
P.S. One of the other reasons that I’ve been hiding from you is that I thought I needed to have it all figured out myself before I could help you (shaking my fist at perfectionism syndrome…) but I know that’s not true. With 2019 just around the corner, let’s go on this journey together of showing up as our authentic and imperfect selves because the world needs our light now more than ever before.