The #1 reason more women don’t run for elected office is because of money: we’re too afraid to think about it and talk about it, let alone ask for it. But this isn’t just true for candidates. It’s pervasive in social justice work. I just finished reading “Secrets of Six Figure Women” by Barbara Stanny (which has been an absolute game changer for me by the way) and this one sentence shook me to my core:
“Many women have a high tolerance for low pay because they believe in the nobility of poverty”.
Let that sink in [First Name]. We think it’s noble to be poor! Historically the careers that black women have pursued have been rooted in service: teaching, nursing, organizing, etc. We aren’t doing this work for the money. We genuinely want to be of service to our communities and we also believe that we can’t (or won’t be) rich doing this work.
We’ve become martyrs for the movement and have committed ourselves to fighting for the cause – yet we can’t pay our bills.
What’s really underneath that is that our relationship with money is jacked. How many times have you secretly thought rich people were bad? Or how often did you hear your parents say “money is the root of all evil” growing up? We have passed these limiting beliefs about money down from generation to generation for good reason: our ancestors were bought and sold to make others rich.
Our families were broken apart, dehumanized, and traumatized all in the name of profit. And we wonder why our relationship with money is f*cked up. Slavery “ended” 152 years ago and yet our communities are still in bondange just with a different master.
With so much in our country at stake, the need for more women of color to run for office has never been greater. But I don’t care how many fundraising trainings you do [First Name], if you don’t heal your relationship with money and shift your mindset – you’re screwed. No matter what your profession here are 4 ways to start the healing process:
4) Get clear about your money story: When you think about your earliest memories of money what were they? When you got your first job was it to pay for fun with your friends or to help your parents pay bills? How did your family talk about money? Did you constantly hear them say “we’re broke” or “there’s not enough to go around”?
3) Challenge your limiting beliefs: Because I heard it so much growing up I actually believed that rich people were bad and that money was the root of all evil. I also believed myself when I said “I’m not good with money” or “I can’t afford that”. Hearing that tape play in my head over and over again I could just use those as excuses as to why my financial life wasn’t in order (or why I couldn’t balance my checkbook). I now use affirmations to change that soundtrack that affirm my relationship with money:
I am great with money and understand my finances completely
I have a healthy relationship with money and it flows to me easily
I can pay all of my bills on time and easily each month
2) Act as if there’s nothing you can’t afford: Last month my friend Rachelle and I were in Hong Kong and walked passed a Christian Louboutin store. Let me be clear – I am NOT a designer shoe person and the idea of spending the equivalent of one month’s rent on a pair of shoes has never appealed to me – but I thought it would be fun to go in. I immediately began to act as if I was prepared to spend a small fortune on shoes and was just searching for the perfect ones. After trying on the 3rd pair (the first two had me feeling like Cinderella’s ugly stepsisters) they fit like a DREAM! When I stood up to look at myself in the mirror I literally felt like a million bucks. In that moment I totally understood why women love these shoes. Rather than be defeated that I couldn’t pay $900 right then I put those shoes (Google Christian Louboutin Aribak – they’re beautiful right?!) on my vision board because they’re already mine – I just don’t have them yet.
1) Change your language: I cringe whenever I hear people say “I’m broke” or “I can’t afford that”. Thoughts become things and if you don’t think you can – you won’t. Catch yourself the next time you find yourself using limiting language. Speak life and power over your finances instead of doom and gloom.
[First Name], healing my relationship with money and shifting my mindset has been one of the most powerful tools in my arsenal this year. I woke up this morning with a profound sense of gratitude for the fact that while money used to be something I struggled with, I’m no longer a slave to it:
I’m not homeless in Cambodia
I haven’t missed a meal yet (I met someone who talked about his frequent “extended fasts” because he sometimes can’t afford food)
And I haven’t had to ask anyone for a dime since I left
All 3 of these were my biggest fears that I now no longer worry about because I know the universe has my back. Removing the chains of my shitty relationship with money not only helped me feel 1,000 pounds lighter, but for the first time in years – I feel free.
That’s why I’m on a mission to help other women do the same. Join me tonight at 8pm EST for “Money Mindset Mastery for Candidates: Heal Your Relationship With Money + Shatter Your Fundraising Goals”. Register at www.rebeccamthompson.com/moneymindset.